Growth Hacking

Now it’s my turn to live the experience of constant intense panic attacks. Hello girls! Well, it seems I’m getting closer to your circles. It knocks my arrogance down, just like it once did for you :). It’s just that yours was about the feminine, but mine was about the very impulsive – masculine. I finally began to understand and realize this difference between male - impulse - and female - resource energy. And it’s not that my momentum is gone. But now I’ve somehow swirled it, you can see it even in my drawings, these fucking spirals are everywhere. I myself don’t understand why I draw them, they dig into any convenient opportunity, into any hole or squiggle. This is apparently how my impulse was transformed under your damn female influence :)))). But in general, he is so much cuter, and thanks to them my pictures acquire a certain childish liveliness. So I am very grateful to you - for this painful activation of the female field into myself. I know that you didn’t do anything special for me, in my mind it’s the other way around, I know how I pissed you all off a long time ago. I hope for your gentleness and purely human empathy. In general, I’m getting closer, I can now cry and go into panic if a person simply raises his voice at me. And of course, God forbid, your best friend just talks sternly. In general, being a real woman (and not a man in a skirt, as I was before) and doing business with a man who is not conscious enough to understand and respect all this turned out to be completely impossible. And in fact, I still live through the situation of “divorce, I ended up with children on the street without money,” but at least not with my husband, but through friendship and business. Moreover, this is apparently a business for him. And for me - a miracle baby and a creation into the world. Why and why? Well, screw it, do you think I can really answer this myself...? It feels like I have taken on a task in my life. And responsibility to others also stipulated. And on a subtle level, I very, very directly feel certain expectations from myself. Because so many resources have been invested to prepare me for all this, to provide the necessary experience and people, to print out the information. And at the most important moment of the launch, something happens, I don’t know what’s happening to the main satellite, that I can barely survive this situation purely physically. But through severe chest pain and tears, I still try to do all my tasks. Because even the right people have started to come forward. And, of course, when you tell important founders of different communities that I have for them a completely open and simple tool for their internal barter (and then I carefully tell them “for subsequent liberation from the financial system”)... In general, their eyes begin to shine and there is an interest in having a serious conversation. And all this requires time and, of course, psycho-emotional resources. And now it was actually stolen from me. They stole those energies that captured my best friend and, through my love for him, slowly, and sometimes with very sharp blows to the heart, they steal away.

And so it began to dawn on me, very slowly, but I finally discovered this formula of immersion and expansion. This is when consciousness is increasingly loaded into the body, increasing its state of attention and focus (the same mindfulness). And after this, sensitivity rises. You begin to feel the slightest low vibration intonation. The slightest sternness in a voice from a loved one is perceived as “a knife to the heart.” And I understand that this is exactly how my eldest child feels about me, but it didn’t reach me in the same way. And we immediately talk about this very openly and honestly, and now I clarify at the moments when I need to ask for something whether that very soul-cutting severity is manifested in my voice. And he even felt somehow better. In general, it’s so important for children to understand that they can calmly tell their parents (and other adults) where they disagree with them, or where they feel pain. So, from this very sensitive, childish and naive, but at the same time experienced fighter, one must live this life with adults. And I have already, in principle, re-educated my husband into a childish atmosphere. Children, of course, are absolutely amazing teachers. How they help, in principle, even the biggest snobs and scoundrels to feel vulnerable. Because it is still very difficult for a man to show his vulnerability. In difficult moments, he will most likely yell at you and everyone around him, indiscriminately, or still not yell, but according to calculation (well, if you yell at the source of direct physical pleasure, you can lose it). In general, our children will always be those who have maximum vitality. And with each generation, thank GOD, they become more free, independent and self-confident. It may still be a little clumsy, but you can forgive them for this due to their earthly inexperience. After all, they say that very inexperienced souls on earth came to be young, with an unconcealed view of this absolutely disgusting vomiting earthly reality. At these snickering assholes everywhere and at the tortured people who, in comparison, are in a state of constant survival. Well, I know that our time is already very close. Already, there are films in the cinema (two top ones, at that) for children with direct revolutionary content. All the messages are so direct and honest that even my children understood everything instantly. They realized that “mom’s party” is coming to the big screen, since fly agarics are already walking around in Disney films, and this, well, British handsome guy from “Bridget Jones’s Diary” becomes a very psychedelic character in every way, and the state prohibits the sale of chocolate, because that it makes people fly and dream (and at the same time the bandits themselves eat it and sell it - corruption and smuggling). And this is all for children, in very direct and accessible language. I'm always tempted to do some kind of hidden social survey or flash mob on the topic of trust in governments. To his own and then, in principle, as an authority. Do people still believe them? Is it really still not obvious that there really are no normal people there, simply because they either won’t be allowed in or will quickly become corrupt? And it's not even about people. Everything comes down again to the same system - hierarchical. She is, by definition, corrupt. The upper ones pull away from the lower ones, we are all taught this way practically from birth. And only a very great strength of the soul or simply life experience allows one to pierce this veil of the veil at some point and, from above - with consciousness - remove it. And see how, in principle, we don’t need any of this hierarchy. How can all people simply agree with each other from a position of equals. It is energetically - emotionally - without the edification and arrogance of a bossy tone. The one who pays the money is in exactly the same dependence on doing something for his benefit in exchange for this money. And the one who gives money is just an instrument of exchange for values, and not a golden calf - in no way and in no way superior to the one who creates value. And it’s also good if this money was earned on real value and on interaction with honest people. Because otherwise it turns out that the money stinks.